Best “No Spam” Guarantee Ever
First came the official-sounding disclaimers, e.g.
We will not sell or distribute any of your personal information that is submitted on our site. This includes your email address, postal address, credit card information, phone number, and any other personal data.
Factual, comprehensive, and unambiguous. Gets the job done with no muss & no fuss. Probably written (or at least reviewed three times) by the legal department. Then with the advent of Web 2.0, more informal & colloquial privacy policies started popping up like weeds, usually along the lines of
We hate spam as much as you do! Meevū will never give or sell any of your contact information to anyone, ever! That’s a promise.
Succinct & friendly, right? Those guys at Meevū are cool like me! They are respect my privacy, yet they don’t have sticks up their butt about it! Fine, whatever. But this nugget from former startup AllExperts.com definitely sets the bar for flouting convention and “sticking it to the man”:
Furthermore, our database administrator has been psychologically inured against torture and brainwashing, and has a cyanide capsule implanted in his upper left molar in case anyone attempts to get our e-mail addresses from him.
Seriously, though–we won’t give out your address. It’s that simple.
I freakin’ love it! Although it was probably written back before Y2K, it’s still hipper than a pair of fuschia Crocs and a LiveStrong bracelet combined! My email address is yours, you charmer…
Posted in The Web (2.0 and otherwise)