Yesterday marked my brief foray into the funky little world of the Windows command line. Not a place I’d usually be programming, but I had a really specific problem and it seemed like I should be able to whip up a sol’n there without a ton of wasted work.

Here’s the deal: usually when I download digital albums, all the tracks are named in the form <Bandname> – <Songname>.wma. I just don’t like the band name being in the file name, since I’m already organizing tracks by band & album folders. I end up spending a couple of minutes in Explorer renaming tracks manually: start at the top of the listing, hit F2, CTRL-Left Arrow a few times until everything but the band name & hyphen prefix is selected, hit enter, down arrow, rinse & repeat.

Not the end of the world. But like any geek, I’d rather spend five hours once solving a programming problem (and maybe learning something in the process) than spend fifteen minutes every week executing a mindlessly repetitive manual task. And I just picked up a couple of anthologies with over 80 tracks a piece — that’s critical mass, baby.

Initially I thought I’d whip up a little EXE in C or VB or something (Flash not being suited to this kind of local file I/O) that snarfed a directory listing, automatically figured out the prefix (if any) that all file names had in common, and renamed all the files to eliminate that prefix. But then I wondered how far I could get with just a simple batch file. The answer: close enough. No automatic detection, but a decent little utility to walk through a folder hierarchy recursively and strip a specified string out of all music filenames in there. Potentially boring technical details follow, so only click the “more>>” link if that’s your bag…

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Last summer we had the juicy gossip line item about a Hooters waitress being kicked off her Southwest airlines flight for dressing too provocatively.   Kyla Ebbert parlayed her 15 minutes of fame into a Playboy pictorial that no doubt helped ease the “humiliation and embarrassment” she felt as a result of the incident.

So is creating an airline ruckus now the fast track to a Playboy shoot?  Clearly that’s what Nisreen Swedberg and Sarah Williams are hoping with their lame imitation story about being discriminated against on a Southwest flight for, um, their youthful beauty.   As Sarah insightfully & indignantly sums up the situation, “nobody else really on the plane looked like us… except us.”  How true.   God bless the Oldsmar, FL educational system for producing these two paragons of virtue & fair play.  (Oh, and Nisreen?  Jennifer Beals called.  She wants her top back.)

I started working a bunch in UnrealScript again lately, and I’m still coming up to speed on the class changes and event flow in UT3 vs. UT2004.  There’s really no great IDE for UT (sorry, WOTGreal), so I spend a lot of time tracing method names and properties through the exported source scripts from the retail game.  For 10+ full text searches per minute, the grep search in Windows XP just doesn’t cut it.  Unfortunately, neither do Microsoft or Google’s desktop search apps.

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I love that my my desktop machine’s browser page is still set to MSN.  All those ten word teaser links can be incredibly distracting — I obviously don’t need to know who Hermione Granger is dating today or how a hair dryer was used as a “lethal weapon” in a domestic dispute — but every now and then a true gem like this article surfaces.

Here’s the argument in a nutshell: after 9/11, US interest rates dropped dramatically as the Fed tried to forestall fears about the impact of the attacks on our economic infrastructure.  These absurdly low interest rates created an environment where houses suddenly appeared more affordable to everyone.  The subsequent rush on home-buying created an artificial rise in home prices, which coupled with still-too-easily-acquired credit spiralled into a full fledged housing bubble.  And we all know what’s happening now as the bubble collapses — chaos!!  Clearly the whole thing was an well-orchestrated plot; Al Queda played the tune and we danced right into their trap. 

So were “subprime loans and speculative building/buying no more than tools, the equivalent of hijacked airliners?” Uh… that’s a stretch.  The gaps in logic between the premise and the conclusion are so big that you could hide our constantly ballooning Federal deficit in there.  I love the attempt to sweep them under the rug by acknowledging them, though:

We could, of course, blame the Federal Reserve for keeping interest rates too low for too long. We could also blame Wall Street. Or mortgage lenders and their brokers. And we could blame the borrowers for being foolish.”

Yes, we could.  But why bother, when it’s so much more satisfying to point the finger at those evil terrorists?  It’s not our fault!!  The banks and financial institutions were just trying to make more money more quickly, how can that be bad?  And here’s the clincher:

None of this misery would have happened if Sept. 11 hadn’t happened first.”

Wait, back up a sec.  How do we know this?  Sure, the 9/11 attacks were the proximal cause in the Fed’s fund rate falling from ~3.5% to ~1.75% in about two weeks, but where’s the proof that we weren’t going to get there in a few months anyway?  And even given the rates, the consequent bundling and valuation of CDO’s as the new equity instrument du jour were hardly a terrorist scheme.  What, did Abu Hafiza wrap up a beguiling treatise on asset-backed securities in a plain brown wrapper and drop it onto Angelo Mozilo’s front doorstep?  Probably not.

I’d like to believe the whole article is just a link-bait stunt of sorts, but I can’t quite get myself to buy it.  The externalization of blame and inability to shoulder the consequences of our own mistakes just feels too authentically American.  Speaking of which, ‘scuse me while I run down to pick up my free $600 check.  I believe the economy needs some stimulating, and dinner for 12 at Applebee’s may just give the Dow the good shot in the arm it needs.

8:00 PM 

Kort Haus’ biggest claim to fame is probably the wide variety of exotic meats you can get them to grind into a burger for you.  They’ve got a dozen or so “specialty” meats, including alligator, reindeer, kangaroo, and camel.  We’ve had alligator before (thanks, Bite of Seattle), buffalo isn’t exactly exotic these days, and there’s no way we’re eating Rudolph so close to XMas.  We go for the kangaroo burger.  It tastes pretty much like beef.  (Did you think we’d say “chicken?”)

When we first get there, Jenny and I pretty much double the attendance in the place.  Very strange for a Saturday night!  But about twenty minutes after we sit down and eat our marsupial, the place starts to get packed.  What can we say, we’re trendsetters.  Kort Haus has a couple dozen taps, but beer or no beer the thing that stands out is the atmosphere.  Great crowd, ranging from early 20’s hipster wannabes to late 30’s & older couples just getting out of the house for the night.  And let’s not forget the passionate connoisseur trying to haggle down the price on a case of ancient Olympia stubbies.  Go, Tumwater!

Pacific Rim Brewing: Rat City IPA     (info)

Jenny’s right: I ordered this because of the name, makes me think fondly of those Rat City Rollergirls.  But also because it’s an IPA and I’m hoping it’s bold.  I need to wash the watery taste of Maritime out of my mouth.

Adrian sez: “Very woody, a little lemony, and lots of low notes.  There’s a nice jalapeno taste that creeps up on you.  Very interesting!  Could I enjoy this taste as much on the fourth beer?  Probably.”

Jenny sez: “Too much heat that doesn’t balance out with the body.  I like the weight.  High drinkability.”

Fish Brewing Co: Whistling Pig Wheat     (info)In case you didn’t know, “whistle pigs” are groundhogs.   And oh yeah, “wheat” means it’s  another hefeweizen.  Three guesses who ordered this one.

Adrian sez: “Well, this is totally a hefeweizen.  Cloudy, a tiny bit of fruit, but basically wheat, wheat, wheat.  The beer is not bad, it’s just not my thing.”

Jenny sez: “Pleasant and really refreshing after the flight of Jolly Roger beers.  It’s wheaty and yeasty, with a sweet perfume.”

Speakeasy: Big Daddy IPA     (info)

Another IPA.  Ordered because the bartender overheard me musing about the jalepeno flavor in the Rat City and said “Oh, there’s another one with that same flavor,” so we had to try it and see for ourselves.

Adrian sez: “Yep, there’s that jalepeno taste again.  Very strong hop flavor, hard to really taste anything past that.  The aftertaste is all hops, too.  I like it, but is it a novelty beer?”

Jenny sez: “It’s spicy.  Wheaty, too, and I taste some citrus in there.  Very bitter finish.”

After lingering for a couple of hours over our three pints, we call a cab to head to our last stop of the day: Collins Pub in Pioneer Square.  But when we get there we’re dumbfounded to find that they’re all closed up!  It’s not even 11 PM on a Saturday night, and thanks to the Seahawks/Redskins NFC playoff game, the square is overflowing with folks just itching to empty their wallets on booze.  What gives, Collins Pub?

Fortunately, it’s easy to hail a cab in Pioneer Square, and we light out for home.  We’re already compiling the itinerary for our next tour, though, and it’s not too far off!

6:45 PM

After polishing off five beers and a surprisingly tasty sausage plate, we cab it over to the Jolly Roger taproom in Ballard.  The space is tiny — probably seating room for 40, with maybe five to ten more squeezed in standing.  If the tasting notes here are a little shorter than other spots, it’s because we were standing most of the time,  making it pretty hard to write.   One nice thing about the Jolly Roger, though: they do samplers.  We ordered one up and started working our way through the selection.

Clipper Gold Hefeweizen

Jenny’s choice; I’m not a big fan of Hefeweizens.   As the name suggests, it’s a nice gold color, and, well, a wheat beer.  🙂  We didn’t have a lot to say about this one, and there’s probably not a lot worth saying.

Adrian sez: “Ugh.  It tastes like urine.  Weak urine.”

Jenny sez: “It’s light and wheaty.  Lots of water.”

Nightwatch Dark Amber Ale

Adrian sez: “It’s chocolatey.  Not as subtle as I expected, it’s got a very full flavor.  There’s nothing especially distinctive about it, though — I doubt I could pick it out of a lineup.  Bitter aftertaste.”

Jenny sez: “I taste cocao.  Dry cocao though.  It’s smooth and fizzy.”

Imperial IPA

This one is pretty much my choice.  I think Jenny likes IPA’s about as much as I like hefeweizens.

Adrian sez: “It’s nice.  Very clean and thin.  Flavor is simple: just hops, hops, hops.  OK, and a tiny bit of lemon.  Pleasant, but it’s another kind of generic beer: an IPA done just fine. “

Jenny sez: “It’s clean and subtle for an IPA.  There’s not much flavor besides the hops.  It feels a little light.”

Flagship Red Alt Ale

Apparently this was Maritime Pacific’s first brew.  I have no idea what the “alt” means.

Adrian sez: “It’s thin.  A little bitter.  I don’t really taste the malt in this.  If this is a good red ale, I probably don’t like reds in general.”

Jenny sez: “It’s sweet.  There’s a maple-syrupy taste to it.  No real texture.”

Jolly Roger XMas Ale

Adrian sez: “Not quite what I expected from a winter seasonal.  It’s sweet, and a little syrupy.  Medium mouth feel, a little yeasty, slightly bitter on the finish.  It’s OK.”

Jenny sez: “It’s super fragrant!  I smell nuts & berries.  The taste is almost TOO complex… nuts, fruit, and maple syrup again.  Buddy the Elf would love this stuff!  But it’s too wimpy for pirates.”

Islander Pale Dry Hop

We finished the sampler and were getting ready to go but decided to sneak in one more taster for the road.  I hadn’t had anything from Maritime Pacific that really impressed me, and this sounded like it would have the best shot.

Adrian sez: “How is this different from their Imperial IPA!?  It’s slightly cleaner & a little thinner, but virtually the same taste. “

Jenny sez: “No, this one is richer.  Malty, yeasty, lots more flavor.”

It’s hard not to feel just a little disappointed as we wait for our cab.  All of the beers tasted just a bit on the thin side to me, and definitely unremarkable.  I’m reluctantly coming to the conclusion that Maritime Pacific is closer to Redhook than Rogue when it comes to craft ales.  With a few beers in her belly, Jenny sums it up this way: “There’s this thing in papercraft where you take your time and burnish the edges of everything.  You make it ‘just so,’ you want to get it just right.  Maritime’s beers feel like they didn’t do it.  They forgot.”

4:30 PMAfter having some lunch (not very good food, sorry Rogue!) and sobering up, we drove back to Seattle and called a cab to bring us over to Brouwer’s in Fremont.  Jenny hung out here a lot this summer, but it was my first time.  Great tap list – and the sausage plate was a tasty way to keep our palates neutral.  We’ll be back!

Chimay Triple   (info)

A deep amber Belgian Tripel, served in the traditional tulip glass.

Adrian sez:  “It’s sure spicey: nutmeg & cinnamon.  It’s thin, but smooth.  Not particularly sweet.  Definitely not bready.  It tastes a little fruity, but in a subtle way.  Maybe apricot?”

Jenny sez: “It’s really subtle, wheaty.  I dunno… it kinda tastes like Bud Light.  But I don’t really know what Bud Light tastes like.  It’s subtle, anyway.”

Laughing Dog: Devil Dog IPA    (info)

A triple dry hopped IPA, 10% abv.

Adrian sez: “Super hoppy!  Opens with a very strong rye flavor, lots of malt to balance out the hops.  Some notes of lemon, maybe a tiny bit of caramel.  Finish is alcoholic, but clean, not bitter.  Reminds me of the Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA I love… would be great to taste these head-to-head!”

Jenny sez: “I HATE IT!  IT’S HORRIBLE!  It’s extra bitter.  Grass flavor mixed with… some kind of urine.  I’m giving it one and a half stars, and YES, I know Bud is one star.”  When our appetizer plate came, Jenny picked up a piece of light rye bread and said thoughtfully: “If you peed on this, it would taste like that beer.”

Avery: Old Jubilation     (info)

A dark winter ale from Colorado. 8% abv.

Adrian sez: “WTF!?  This is way too thin for a winter brew.  Not a satisfying mouth feel imho.  No obvious spices in here.  There’s a familiar taste, but I can’t put my finger on it.  Is it fruit, or a potato?  I don’t know.  Maybe caramel.  Definitely a lot of malt going on, but where’s the body?”

Jenny sez: “This is like vanilla bread.”  Jenny pushes the glass away from her, and shakes her finger at it, admonishing sternly: “Figure out who the heck you ARE and get back to us!”

Walking Man: Walking Stick Stout    (info)

A traditional, rich American stout.

Adrian sez: (forgot to give star rating, oops!)“Obvious coffee flavor, not bitter enough to be espresso, let’s call it mocha.  A little thin on mouth feel but huge roasty malt flavors.  Coffee is so strong in the aftertaste, feels like a cup of that burnt Starbucks coming back up.  Nicely balanced, but no other notable characteristics.”

Jenny sez: (right, no star rating, sorry)“It’s like drinking a triple-macchiato, but watered down.  Good mouth feel, but very shallow taste.  Almost a novelty beer.  Wait, I take that back… it’s not a novelty brew, it’s ‘user-friendly.’”

Lagunitas Brown Shugga     (info)

Strong ale/barleywine from Petaluma, CA.

Adrian sez: “Well, it’s a little sweet for me.  Namesake taste is obvious, but also very malty.  A coppery, mellow taste.  Very well structured, eminently drinkable & enjoyable!” (Yes, I really said that last bit…)

Jenny sez: “Super malty, very smooth.  Lots of warmth.  I love the hint of sugar, and that sugary aftertaste.  I could drink this all night!”  [So why only 3.5 stars?  🙂 AK]

This was Jenny’s last weekend of vacation before heading back to the software mines on Monday.  Between all the holiday hooplah and an annoying trickle of ongoing work that bled through deadlines, she never felt like she really got to cut loose and whoop it up all freestyle.  The idea was to do something special that broke out of the normal routine and screamed “I’m on VACATION!”

We’d just been to Portland a few weeks ago, and weather made trips to SFO, Vancouver, or the San Juans unappealing.  We put our heads together and scratched ‘em for a bit, trying to think up a good way to beat the winter blahs right here in Seattle.  Finally, Jenny came up with the answer: get plastered!  And that’s how on a rainy Seattle Saturday, the Jenny and Adrian Beer Tour was born.

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I haven’t written anything here in the last couple of months, and many of you have emailed me to ask why.  Some have wondered if all the holiday traveling and family get-togethers have left me without any time to write.  Others have expressed concern over my health.  One or two have chalked up my online silence to a fear of letting slip confidential secrets.  And of course a vocal minority continue to accuse me of being just plain lazy. 

Well, you’re all wrong.

The real reason I haven’t posted anything since early November is that I’ve been standing firm in support of my brothers and sisters in the Writer’s Guild of America as they strike against the AMPTP.  How can I risk posting something humorous or insightful, knowing that so many more talented voices have been silenced?  With Desperate Housewives and The Late Show in re-runs, we’d all just be fooling ourselves if we pretended that life could go on, talking about sports and video games and beer as if nothing had happened.  It reminds me of how the whole world ground to a halt during the 2004-05 NHL lockout.  (And really, has professional sports ever truly recovered from that nightmare year?)

But I’m happy to announce that late last week I was able to reach an important agreement with several independent studios, and SodaForBreakfast.net will now resume its irregular, semi-bi-weekly production schedule, with the first new episode airing shortly.  Thank you for your support and kind wishes during this difficult time.  God bless you all.

Ever since the Patriots edged out the Colts in one of the most-watched regular season games of the last decade, the question on everyone’s lips has been: will the Pats go undefeated this season?  It’s easy to see what feeds all the speculation: the Patriots have completely dominated every team they’ve played that isn’t the defending Superbowl champion, and Brady is on track to break all kinds of NFL single-season records.  It’s exciting to think maybe, just maybe, we’re witnessing some big history being made right now.  (I got those goosebumps in a major way during the last couple of games of the 2004 ALCS championship, when the BoSox became the first team to rally from a 0-3 deficit to beat the Yankees.) 

But in all the hype about how much better the Pats are than all their remaining opponents, the enormous difficulty of completing an entire 16-0 season gets lost.  Every opinion I’ve read, by sportswriters and forum trolls alike, spins the question as “if they’re NOT going to win, who do you pick to beat ’em?  And do you really think that will happen?”  The Steelers are the most popular choice, and probably represent the biggest single-game threat in the Pats remaining schedule.  (It sure ain’t the 0-8 Dolphins.)

The problem is, it’s not as simple as winning a single game.  Give me a single game next week against any of these opponents, and I’ll give you 2-1 odds on the Patriots, no problem.  But let’s break down some math here:

• There are 7 games remaining
• The Pats should be favored to win all of them.  For the sake of argument, let’s say the Pats have 4-1 odds to win each individual game (it’s probably not that high for the Steelers, but that’s fine.)
• So that’s saying the Pats have an 80% chance of winning each of the seven games.
• Just playing those odds, their chance of winning all seven is (0.8)^7, or about 21%.

Now you might argue that these aren’t truly independent events, and that each team the Pats knock off boosts the probability that they’ll beat the next.  But I don’t buy that… NE already beat the Bills 38-7 at home.  Will beating them again in Buffalo really boost the chances you’d give them against the Steelers?  I doubt it.

So maybe you think the Pats are so good that 4-1 odds are actually conservative.  Maybe you think it’s more like 9-1 for the Pats in each of these games.  If you do, I’ll say two things: (1) please send me an email with your contact info so I can take out some bets with you, and (2) even if those are the right odds, it’s still less than a 50% proposition to win all 7 remaining games.  And we haven’t even talked about injuries yet.

I absolutely love the Patriots.  Even being traumatized in ’86 watching Super Bowl XX unfold before my eyes didn’t keep me from rooting for the poor losers.  Now they’re on top of the heap, and I would love to see them dominate completely.  Forget 16-0, let’s see 19-0 with another set of Super Bowl rings!  But to win every single game in the season takes more than being the best team on the field each time out. 

One last thought: how funny would it be if the Patriots finished 16-0, and the Miami Dolphins kept on pace to wrap up the season 0-16?  If they do, maybe we should put an asterisk next to the ’72 Dolphins undefeated 14-0 run, too.  How you like them apples, Don Shula?  Punk.